The Green Bay Packers play for the smallest metropolitan area not only in the NFL but in all of American professional sports. They are a community-owned, non-profit organization that has 11 league (conference) championships and three Super Bowls.

Granted, Pittsburgh are no slouches either in the title department. And if you wanted to be a dick about it (and there are oh, so many of you who do) you could say that Pittsburgh has a greater claim to the ““Titletown” moniker than anyone else. And if the Steelers have what passes for enlightened ownership in this day and age, that’s simply because they have in Dan Rooney, one of the last of the old-school owners.

Bud dude, come on. The Pack are a community owned, non-profit for chrissakes. That’s so progressive and evil (and oh, so like Wisconsin) that there is a special clause, “The Green Bay Clause,” in the NFL Constiution:

Here are the Packers: financially solvent, competitive, and deeply connected to the hundred thousand person city of Green Bay. It’s a beautiful story but it’s one that the N.F.L. and Commissioner Roger Goodell take great pains both to hide and make sure no other locality replicates. It’s actually written in the N.F.L. bylaws that no team can be a non-profit, community owned entity. The late N.F.L. commissioner Pete Rozelle had it written into the league’s constitution in 1960. Article V, Section 4—otherwise known as the Green Bay Rule—states that “charitable organizations and/or corporations not organized for profit and not now a member of the league may not hold membership in the National Football League.”

Source: The New Yorker

I mean, how much more stick-it-to-the-Man can you get in the NFL?

I plan a full day of football on Sunday with a warm up up of Liverpool-Chelsea at 10 a.m. CDT. That matchup too is a real classic.

In re: McCrystal. A couple of things that should pop right out as the nut graphs of this whole affair but that (typically) have been totally buried by the media in the whole scandaliciousness frenzy surrounding the Rolling Stone article by , Michael Hastings. One, Rolling Stone still does some awesome journalism. Two, mainstream media=total failure.

The sense of wonderment that pervaded on most of the TV puditocracy, e.g. “How is this guy ever going to get access again?”

Access isn’t the point because he’s now got the story of his life. Fuck access. See John Stewart.

And it was an outstanding bit of journalism. The “scandalous” stuff was really in the first 500 words. The rest of the article is a very illuminating piece on Gen. McCrystal — a soldier’s soldier if ever there was one — and our strategy in Afghanistan. For those of you who can’t be arsed to read 1,200 words of the most important journalism of 2010 here are the nut graphs of the Hasting’s piece:

The rules handed out here are not what McChrystal intended – they’ve been distorted as they passed through the chain of command – but knowing that does nothing to lessen the anger of troops on the ground. “Fuck, when I came over here and heard that McChrystal was in charge, I thought we would get our fucking gun on,” says Hicks, who has served three tours of combat. “I get COIN. I get all that. McChrystal comes here, explains it, it makes sense. But then he goes away on his bird, and by the time his directives get passed down to us through Big Army, they’re all fucked up – either because somebody is trying to cover their ass, or because they just don’t understand it themselves. But we’re fucking losing this thing.”

Later on:

When it comes to Afghanistan, history is not on McChrystal’s side. The only foreign invader to have any success here was Genghis Khan – and he wasn’t hampered by things like human rights, economic development and press scrutiny. The COIN doctrine, bizarrely, draws inspiration from some of the biggest Western military embarrassments in recent memory: France’s nasty war in Algeria (lost in 1962) and the American misadventure in Vietnam (lost in 1975). McChrystal, like other advocates of COIN, readily acknowledges that counterinsurgency campaigns are inherently messy, expensive and easy to lose. “Even Afghans are confused by Afghanistan,” he says. But even if he somehow manages to succeed, after years of bloody fighting with Afghan kids who pose no threat to the U.S. homeland, the war will do little to shut down Al Qaeda, which has shifted its operations to Pakistan. Dispatching 150,000 troops to build new schools, roads, mosques and water-treatment facilities around Kandahar is like trying to stop the drug war in Mexico by occupying Arkansas and building Baptist churches in Little Rock. “It’s all very cynical, politically,” says Marc Sageman, a former CIA case officer who has extensive experience in the region. “Afghanistan is not in our vital interest – there’s nothing for us there.”

Whatever the nature of the new plan, the delay underscores the fundamental flaws of counterinsurgency. After nine years of war, the Taliban simply remains too strongly entrenched for the U.S. military to openly attack. The very people that COIN seeks to win over – the Afghan people – do not want us there. Our supposed ally, President Karzai, used his influence to delay the offensive, and the massive influx of aid championed by McChrystal is likely only to make things worse. “Throwing money at the problem exacerbates the problem,” says Andrew Wilder, an expert at Tufts University who has studied the effect of aid in southern Afghanistan. “A tsunami of cash fuels corruption, delegitimizes the government and creates an environment where we’re picking winners and losers” – a process that fuels resentment and hostility among the civilian population. So far, counterinsurgency has succeeded only in creating a never-ending demand for the primary product supplied by the military: perpetual war. There is a reason that President Obama studiously avoids using the word “victory” when he talks about Afghanistan. Winning, it would seem, is not really possible. Not even with Stanley McChrystal in charge.

Of course, Stanley McChrystal is not in charge any more is he? And what we are not getting right now is any kind of rational debate on exactly what the fuck we are planning on with regards to an exit strategy for a war that has drug on for one-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-NINE years and shows no sign of being over inside of a decade.

It seems to me that in our hate and fear of Al Quaida is holding hands with with a whole series of national neuroses that we can bundle up under the label, Vietnam Syndrome, e.g. support the troops at all costs, keep the faith, the illusion that winning only requires enough will power and the right strategy, etc. ( Read the article for why all of this is relevant in regard to Gen. McCrystal in particular but for the current generation of military upper brass in general.)

Looking at Vietn… sorry, Afghanistan through those lenses we have totally overlooked the really important thing about war in general; it is supposed to further the national interest.

A U.S. Marine, from the 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit, has a close call after Taliban fighters opened fire near Garmser in Helmand Province of Afghanistan May 18, 2008. The Marine was not injured. (REUTERS/Goran Tomasevic)

Outside of finding and killing some murderous douchebags hiding out (mostly in Pakistan) in caves and mud huts — a job that can be done by a few handfuls of drones, spies and special operators — where is the national interest in spending hundreds (if not thousands) of billions of dollars and thousands of lives here?

Hundreds of billions of dollars. Do you have any idea what we could have done with that (borrowed) money? For the war in Afghanistan we could have built a coast-to-coast high speed railway. We could have sent every graduating senior in America to four years of college for the past nine years. We could have had free freakin’ healthcare for everyone.

And in case you’ve forgotten, Team USA plays its opening match against England.

Regardless, my work schedule in June of this quadrennial year will best be described as, “sporadic.” Me and about two billion other people.

U.S. National Team striker, Clint Dempsey towers above NYC Niketown. Photo: www.studs-up.com

But Fox has really upped the ante with its marketing of the game by announcing yesterday that the Champions League Final, to be played for the first time ever on a Saturday, May 22 will be broadcast live, not on Fox Soccer Channel, not on FX but on the mothership, Fox Network. That raises the potential viewing audience from the paltry 60 million or so of FSC to the over 115 million that have access to Fox. Very cool.

For what its worth, I’m hoping for a rematch of last year’s final, Barcelona v. Manchester United.

1975

Like most Vikings fans of the era I considered myself a real Norseman and revelled the hard, freezing conditions at Metropolitan that made the Frozen Tundra of Labeau feel like July. I hated the idea of moving into the Metrodome. They are the Minesota fucking VIKINGS! Vikings would no sooner play war-sports inside in January than they would leave a defenseless maiden un-molested. Its just not the done thing among the Norsemen. I said it back then and I’ll say it again. The Vikings will never win a championship as long as they play indoors.

Let the hate begin.

Video preview with suitable epic music:

This is not an easy group by any means. But getting out is doable. Everything depends on which USA Team shows up; the one that beat Span and took Brazil to 2-3 in Confederation’s Cup last summer, or the team that just barely edged their way into qualification in their last few WC qualifiers. Nate Silver at FiveThirtyEight has run the numbers.

Either way, don’t expect much in the way of work out of me in June next year.

Which just a crying shame, because if we had a decent quarterback you’d have to like our chances for a National Championship, that’s how good the rest of the team is.

Update: Well, that was the craziest Iowa game I think I’ve ever seen. Ricky Stanzi may not be able to throw the football all that well, but the lad has character to burn. Wow, I’m stunned. Go, Oklahoma State!

If you have never been to a pro soccer game, this is a great chance. Soccer is one of the cheapest deals in pro sports. Toyota Park is located in Bridgeview, just south of Chicago and a mile or so off Interstate 294. Although traffic in and out of the stadium is what you would expect, getting to and from the stadium is a snap. It makes a day trip from Eastern Iowa really doable and nothing like the hassle of going to a Bears, Bulls/Hawks, Cubs or Sox game in the heart of the city. The stadium only seats about 20,000 and is rarely sold out so the crowds are managable. The tailgate parties are every bit as good as at a regular college or pro football game, so bring the grill and cooler and show up well before game time.

And you can’t beat the atmosphere. Soccer fans are a breed apart. $15 will get you in the all-standing, all-singing Section 8, the heart of the fun. But good seats can be had for $20 as well. Check it out.

I’ll make you this deal: If you don’t have a good time, contact me and i’ll give you your money back. If you want a guide, let me know. I haven’t missed a home playoff game in ten years and I’m not going to start now.

Okay, let’s set aside for the moment the wrongness and utter inanity of objectifying women as part of a “my sport is better than your sport” argument. We’ll take this post as it was probably meant; a tasteless tongue-in-cheek aside to the dudes. I’ll also set aside the utter statstical lunacy of trying to pit the say, 100 million women in the world who give a crap about American football against the (let’s say conservatively) 1 BILLION or so who are soccer fans. Okay, you lose right there. There are ONE THOUSAND TIMES more women who are soccer fans than football fans. If you want to stack the beauties in each group against one-another the numbers are going to crush you.

My main problem is this: Dude, you googled, “soccer babes,” and THAT is the best you came up with?! I mean by virtue of the fact that I have been an internet-based futbol geek for a couple of decades, I can come up with this link just off the top of my head.

Scroll down for the pretty Croatian fans.

Naturally beautiful football fans.

My off-the-cuff selection has the double benefit of being actual naturally beautiful women who are actual fans, not a selection of skanky bikini models who wouldn’t know an end-around from a reach-around. And while we’re on the subject… since Mr. Swearengen writes for the Iowa Republican, what’s up with the Michigan cheesecake?

I swear, can’t these people do ANYTHING without putting their thumbs on the scales and twisting the facts to fit their narrative? And they can’t even do that very well either; simultaneously offending heterosexual soccer lovers and Iowa-based pigskin fans in the process. And they wonder why they keep getting their asses handed to them…

Drew Carey is the part owner of the
Seattle Sounders Major League Soccer club. Seattle is playing its first season in the league, but is already a local and national sensation. Before the team had played its first game it had sold more season tickets for a 15 game home season than the Seattle Mariners. The team has sold out the 29,000 seats allocated for soccer in Qwest Field and is adding 4,000 more for next season.

Atmosphere, one of the best reasons to attend a football game in person… Seattle has raised the bar to European heights.

How have they done it in a city without a large, football-loving expatriate population? By embracing their fan base, and letting them have a say in how the club is managed. These novel ideas were, in fact driven by Drew Carey. From a recent profile in the LA Times:

Joe, forget the wrist, I want to own part of the team,” Carey recalls saying. “But, oh, by the way, there are two conditions.”

Condition No. 1: A marching band. Carey was in his high school’s band and wanted to re-create that experience. Condition No. 2: Involve fans in a way no other team in America had. Carey trotted out prominent European examples: soccer juggernauts Barcelona and Real Madrid. Both hold elections to fill the singularly powerful role of team president. A pricey bond must be secured to seek the office, but anyone can run. Candidates campaign, often promising to sign the best players, and season ticket holders vote.

Roth remembers squirming, and Carey pressing for compromise. Reserve the right to hire the general manager, the comedian said. But every four years let the fans vote on whether the GM should stay. If there’s enough anger, fans can call for a no-confidence vote once a year.

“The fans can do your dirty work for you,” Carey argued.

Roth was sold, and Carey was in. The team has the band, of course, and all it takes to oust the GM is a majority vote by the 22,000 season ticket holders and fans who pay $125 to join a booster group.

The match begins. Sometimes Carey is calm. Just as often he balls a fist, bites a nail, cusses like the Marine he once was. “I like the idea of this being a movement,” he says. “There’s no reason a team like the Clippers can’t do this, or a team like the Detroit Lions. What do teams like that have to lose?”

Control, someone suggests.

“That was the argument against democracy in the United States,” Carey replies, launching into a soliloquy in which he dismisses monarchies and applauds the masses.

“Let the fans vote for the GM? Don’t you vote for judges you’ve never heard of? I believe fans know way more about sports teams than they know about judges, and judge is a pretty important job. Look, the only way fans can ever have a say in the way a team is run right now, with most teams, is to stop coming. And that’s no way to run a business. We’re going to have lean years. When that happens, I want them to keep coming, and we do that by having them really involved.”