In re: McCrystal. A couple of things that should pop right out as the nut graphs of this whole affair but that (typically) have been totally buried by the media in the whole scandaliciousness frenzy surrounding the Rolling Stone article by , Michael Hastings. One, Rolling Stone still does some awesome journalism. Two, mainstream media=total failure.

The sense of wonderment that pervaded on most of the TV puditocracy, e.g. “How is this guy ever going to get access again?”

Access isn’t the point because he’s now got the story of his life. Fuck access. See John Stewart.

And it was an outstanding bit of journalism. The “scandalous” stuff was really in the first 500 words. The rest of the article is a very illuminating piece on Gen. McCrystal — a soldier’s soldier if ever there was one — and our strategy in Afghanistan. For those of you who can’t be arsed to read 1,200 words of the most important journalism of 2010 here are the nut graphs of the Hasting’s piece:

The rules handed out here are not what McChrystal intended – they’ve been distorted as they passed through the chain of command – but knowing that does nothing to lessen the anger of troops on the ground. “Fuck, when I came over here and heard that McChrystal was in charge, I thought we would get our fucking gun on,” says Hicks, who has served three tours of combat. “I get COIN. I get all that. McChrystal comes here, explains it, it makes sense. But then he goes away on his bird, and by the time his directives get passed down to us through Big Army, they’re all fucked up – either because somebody is trying to cover their ass, or because they just don’t understand it themselves. But we’re fucking losing this thing.”

Later on:

When it comes to Afghanistan, history is not on McChrystal’s side. The only foreign invader to have any success here was Genghis Khan – and he wasn’t hampered by things like human rights, economic development and press scrutiny. The COIN doctrine, bizarrely, draws inspiration from some of the biggest Western military embarrassments in recent memory: France’s nasty war in Algeria (lost in 1962) and the American misadventure in Vietnam (lost in 1975). McChrystal, like other advocates of COIN, readily acknowledges that counterinsurgency campaigns are inherently messy, expensive and easy to lose. “Even Afghans are confused by Afghanistan,” he says. But even if he somehow manages to succeed, after years of bloody fighting with Afghan kids who pose no threat to the U.S. homeland, the war will do little to shut down Al Qaeda, which has shifted its operations to Pakistan. Dispatching 150,000 troops to build new schools, roads, mosques and water-treatment facilities around Kandahar is like trying to stop the drug war in Mexico by occupying Arkansas and building Baptist churches in Little Rock. “It’s all very cynical, politically,” says Marc Sageman, a former CIA case officer who has extensive experience in the region. “Afghanistan is not in our vital interest – there’s nothing for us there.”

Whatever the nature of the new plan, the delay underscores the fundamental flaws of counterinsurgency. After nine years of war, the Taliban simply remains too strongly entrenched for the U.S. military to openly attack. The very people that COIN seeks to win over – the Afghan people – do not want us there. Our supposed ally, President Karzai, used his influence to delay the offensive, and the massive influx of aid championed by McChrystal is likely only to make things worse. “Throwing money at the problem exacerbates the problem,” says Andrew Wilder, an expert at Tufts University who has studied the effect of aid in southern Afghanistan. “A tsunami of cash fuels corruption, delegitimizes the government and creates an environment where we’re picking winners and losers” – a process that fuels resentment and hostility among the civilian population. So far, counterinsurgency has succeeded only in creating a never-ending demand for the primary product supplied by the military: perpetual war. There is a reason that President Obama studiously avoids using the word “victory” when he talks about Afghanistan. Winning, it would seem, is not really possible. Not even with Stanley McChrystal in charge.

Of course, Stanley McChrystal is not in charge any more is he? And what we are not getting right now is any kind of rational debate on exactly what the fuck we are planning on with regards to an exit strategy for a war that has drug on for one-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-NINE years and shows no sign of being over inside of a decade.

It seems to me that in our hate and fear of Al Quaida is holding hands with with a whole series of national neuroses that we can bundle up under the label, Vietnam Syndrome, e.g. support the troops at all costs, keep the faith, the illusion that winning only requires enough will power and the right strategy, etc. ( Read the article for why all of this is relevant in regard to Gen. McCrystal in particular but for the current generation of military upper brass in general.)

Looking at Vietn… sorry, Afghanistan through those lenses we have totally overlooked the really important thing about war in general; it is supposed to further the national interest.

A U.S. Marine, from the 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit, has a close call after Taliban fighters opened fire near Garmser in Helmand Province of Afghanistan May 18, 2008. The Marine was not injured. (REUTERS/Goran Tomasevic)

Outside of finding and killing some murderous douchebags hiding out (mostly in Pakistan) in caves and mud huts — a job that can be done by a few handfuls of drones, spies and special operators — where is the national interest in spending hundreds (if not thousands) of billions of dollars and thousands of lives here?

Hundreds of billions of dollars. Do you have any idea what we could have done with that (borrowed) money? For the war in Afghanistan we could have built a coast-to-coast high speed railway. We could have sent every graduating senior in America to four years of college for the past nine years. We could have had free freakin’ healthcare for everyone.

And in case you’ve forgotten, Team USA plays its opening match against England.

Regardless, my work schedule in June of this quadrennial year will best be described as, “sporadic.” Me and about two billion other people.

U.S. National Team striker, Clint Dempsey towers above NYC Niketown. Photo: www.studs-up.com

1975

Like most Vikings fans of the era I considered myself a real Norseman and revelled the hard, freezing conditions at Metropolitan that made the Frozen Tundra of Labeau feel like July. I hated the idea of moving into the Metrodome. They are the Minesota fucking VIKINGS! Vikings would no sooner play war-sports inside in January than they would leave a defenseless maiden un-molested. Its just not the done thing among the Norsemen. I said it back then and I’ll say it again. The Vikings will never win a championship as long as they play indoors.

Studs Up Meets XKCD. Click for larger view.

Oh, and this.

Adrain Clayborn: "I'll be back!" Image: Getty. Duh.

That is all for today, I think.

www.studs-up.com

No, really. Liverpool is poor. Because? A couple of weaselly American financiers (businessmen being too generous a term) bought the team in a heavilly leveraged buyout in 2007 and saddled the team with debt.

When Tom Hicks and George Gillett arrived, they portrayed themselves as the friendly and benevolent Americans, smiling humans compared with the odd-seeming Glazers of Tampa Bay and Old Trafford. They were not going to “do” a Glazer and load debt on to the club; they would build the new stadium on Stanley Park, which would allow Liverpool truly to compete with United; they would honour and respect Liverpool’s heritage.

At Liverpool the debts are lower but the club can ill afford them because of Anfield’s smaller capacity, not a brick of the new stadium having materialised almost three years after Hicks and Gillett arrived. Their latest figures showed the club had borrowed £313m, including the costs of the takeover, and last year paid out £36.5m to the banks in interest alone – that is Xabi Alonso plus £6.5m, gone. That helped push the club into a £42.6m loss at a time when vastly more wealth is flowing in than ever before.

What does this have to do with Clinton? Nothing. Except now you know that the greed, excess and idiocy that led to the recent financial meltdown is still echoing across all walks of life the world over. And that I am having a miserable time watching soccer this winter.

Let the hate begin.

Video preview with suitable epic music:

This is not an easy group by any means. But getting out is doable. Everything depends on which USA Team shows up; the one that beat Span and took Brazil to 2-3 in Confederation’s Cup last summer, or the team that just barely edged their way into qualification in their last few WC qualifiers. Nate Silver at FiveThirtyEight has run the numbers.

Either way, don’t expect much in the way of work out of me in June next year.

Which just a crying shame, because if we had a decent quarterback you’d have to like our chances for a National Championship, that’s how good the rest of the team is.

Update: Well, that was the craziest Iowa game I think I’ve ever seen. Ricky Stanzi may not be able to throw the football all that well, but the lad has character to burn. Wow, I’m stunned. Go, Oklahoma State!

If you have never been to a pro soccer game, this is a great chance. Soccer is one of the cheapest deals in pro sports. Toyota Park is located in Bridgeview, just south of Chicago and a mile or so off Interstate 294. Although traffic in and out of the stadium is what you would expect, getting to and from the stadium is a snap. It makes a day trip from Eastern Iowa really doable and nothing like the hassle of going to a Bears, Bulls/Hawks, Cubs or Sox game in the heart of the city. The stadium only seats about 20,000 and is rarely sold out so the crowds are managable. The tailgate parties are every bit as good as at a regular college or pro football game, so bring the grill and cooler and show up well before game time.

And you can’t beat the atmosphere. Soccer fans are a breed apart. $15 will get you in the all-standing, all-singing Section 8, the heart of the fun. But good seats can be had for $20 as well. Check it out.

I’ll make you this deal: If you don’t have a good time, contact me and i’ll give you your money back. If you want a guide, let me know. I haven’t missed a home playoff game in ten years and I’m not going to start now.

Okay, let’s set aside for the moment the wrongness and utter inanity of objectifying women as part of a “my sport is better than your sport” argument. We’ll take this post as it was probably meant; a tasteless tongue-in-cheek aside to the dudes. I’ll also set aside the utter statstical lunacy of trying to pit the say, 100 million women in the world who give a crap about American football against the (let’s say conservatively) 1 BILLION or so who are soccer fans. Okay, you lose right there. There are ONE THOUSAND TIMES more women who are soccer fans than football fans. If you want to stack the beauties in each group against one-another the numbers are going to crush you.

My main problem is this: Dude, you googled, “soccer babes,” and THAT is the best you came up with?! I mean by virtue of the fact that I have been an internet-based futbol geek for a couple of decades, I can come up with this link just off the top of my head.

Scroll down for the pretty Croatian fans.

Naturally beautiful football fans.

My off-the-cuff selection has the double benefit of being actual naturally beautiful women who are actual fans, not a selection of skanky bikini models who wouldn’t know an end-around from a reach-around. And while we’re on the subject… since Mr. Swearengen writes for the Iowa Republican, what’s up with the Michigan cheesecake?

I swear, can’t these people do ANYTHING without putting their thumbs on the scales and twisting the facts to fit their narrative? And they can’t even do that very well either; simultaneously offending heterosexual soccer lovers and Iowa-based pigskin fans in the process. And they wonder why they keep getting their asses handed to them…